To De-Stress

This page is meant to DE -STRESS and  not to DISTRESS. With jokes, pictures  and other interesting tit bits . You are invited to contribute liberally, just cut and paste or forward the forwarded email jokes. Sender's name will be displayed prominently

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In this page I have given something which has got nothing to do with JVV but everything to relax you a bit ...

Artist assistants stand next to 3,604 cups of coffee which have been made into a giant Mona Lisa in Sydney. The 3,604 cups of coffee were each filled with different amounts of milk to create the different shades!!

 [from forwarded emails]
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This one has got to be a real master piece !

Created by American wildlife artist Rusty Rust, this painting showing a tiger is named “The Hidden Tiger”. You are right, 'THE HIDDEN TIGER'. Relax, sit back and after a couple of 'blinks' take a look. The trick is 'LOOKING BEYOND WHAT YOU SEE ' If you can find 'the hidden tiger' apart from this majestic one, you must be a 'keen' type.  

  Clue : Small cats live NINE lives, Big cat like the above, TWO ! 

If you are  very keen or rather desperate to find the answer, email me at 

jp.jvv23@gmail.com  

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  How many faces can you recognise ?? Click on the pix for enlargement 

 

  

Click on the pix above for an enlarged picture      

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^{The following one is, simply, one of my best !}

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The Image of a sage

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Stare at the four dots in the center of this page for about 30 seconds. Try not to blink. Then lean back, look at the ceiling and blink your eyes a few times. Did you see a wise man?

http://allpsych.com/opticalillusions/jesus.html

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Which leg are you 'STANDING"?

This is not my original work. To explain and enjoy the effects of "OPTICAL ILLUSIONS", it has been taken from the net > http://www.scientificpsychic.com/graphics/#sdance1

Rotating Silhouette Pirouette On what leg is the dancer standing? 

Look carefully, if you think she is facing you, then she is standing on her right leg. 

If you feel that her back is towards you, then she is standing on her left leg. 

When you go to the link given below and drag the mouse cursor [pointer], the direction of rotation of silhouettes may be ambiguous. This dancer created by Nobuyuki Kayahara stands on her left leg when she appears to be rotating clockwise, but on her right leg when she appears to rotate counter-clockwise.

 

  Click on the link below, you will be taken to the page from where this was taken. The real fun is when you put the mouse pointer at the left [on 'Put'] or at the right ['Animate'] to get the girl to rotate on her left or right leg. REAL COOL !! 

Put Mouse Pointer Here to Animate

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Do not DRINK , DRIVE ! 

 

from the net http://www.wonderfulinfo.com/illusions/pic003.jpg 

  I have seen similar 'INDIAN FACE' on the national highway near Coimbatore which simply says " DONOT DRINK and DRIVE" The longer you look at it, your head starts spinnnnnninnnng

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 

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probleMATIC woman in matheMATICal terms !!

1.To find a woman you need TIME and Money.

Therefore, Woman = Time x Money

2.”Time is Money”.

That is, Time = Money

3. Therefore , Woman = Money x Money

4. That is, Woman = (Money)²

5. “Money is the root of all problems”, Therefore, Money = √Problems or (Money)² = Problems

6. Therefore, Woman = (Money)² = Problems

THAT IS, WOMAN = PROBLEMS

Doesn’t this deserve an A+ ?


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Is Woman an Optical Illusion??

Take a hard look. Is it an old woman looking down or a young woman looking away? Click on the Picture for an enlargement (from the net)

 

There is NO SECRET in www - [wierd wild web - world]

 

 

Last gets to laugh

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Paradise and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person one wish because of the grief they have experienced.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous,but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing.When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.

Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be.The guy eventually calms down and says: "Make 'em all ugly again.

NEXT TIME YOU'RE LAST IN LINE, BE HAPPY

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HOW TO START A FIGHT:  The Unreasonable Mother-in-law   One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's when the fight started...  ______________________________   The Unreasonable Wife    My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..' So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started... ________________________________   The Humour-less Wife    I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And that's when the fight started...  ________________________________   The Mis-informed Wife    My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since." "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And that's when the fight started...  ________________________________   The Dangeorus Wife    When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway." The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp. ________________________________   The Lazy Wife    My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." And that's when the fight started...  ________________________________   The Humourless Husband    Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?" And that's when the fight started... ________________________________   The well rounded Wife    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a bathroom scale. And that's when the fight started...  ________________________________   The Soft Husband  After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office... She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.' And that's when the fight started...  ________________________________   The Masochistic Husband  My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." And that's when the fight started...

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 Subject: lie detector test

Kyle's dad brought home a robot one day.  The robot had the ability to detect lies and would slap the person who lied. Kyle returned late from school.  Dad asked, "Son why are you late from school'? "Dad, we had extra classes today", the robot slapped Kyle on his face. Dad shouted, "Come on tell me the truth, why are you late?" "Dad, I went to see the movie Ten Commandments", Kyle got another slap from the robot. "Sorry dad, I went to see the movie "Red Hot Queen". "Shame on you son, when I was your age, I never watched obscene movies   or misbehaved", immediately, dad gets a hot slap on the face from the robot. Kyle's mom comes walking out of the kitchen and says to her husband,   "After all, he's your son!" The robot steps up and slaps Kyle's mom. *

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I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, and rapidly realized that I don't really give a hoot. It's the tortoise life for me! 1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, only drinks water, and is fat. 3. A rabbit only eats vegetables, runs and hops all day long, and only lives 5 years. 4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing energetic, yet it lives for 450 years. And you tell me to exercise! I don't think so. I'm retired. Go around me.

[recd as a fwd email]